Posted on

Being a New Nurse aka The Hunger Games

tumblr_n9wk2zOsJW1qcm0m3o1_500

All nursing students have heard the saying, “Nurses eat their young.” Being a new nurse is scary.        Your first nursing job may feel  like the Hunger Games.

 

 

 

tumblr_inline_mu2uhzXMjK1s22cpf
You think you nailed the interview when the manager loves your nursing school story about the geriatric patient with the smelly feet.

 

tumblr_mno9tsQQmO1sou2u9o1_500
After your third panel interview in a week, all you can manage is to say thank you and hope that you get a job offer.

 

tumblr_nf2km9bZgy1u34kpso1_500
This is you nailing your first nursing  job.

 

tumblr_mxd63n1vUA1t3yxoao1_400
This is the firs time you sign your name with RN

 

tumblr_mw9y5hhbbi1rz2cbjo3_500
The opening ceremony is how you look in your starched uniform and perfect bun.

 

bread
This is how you look after you’ve been a nurse for 6 months.

 

tumblr_mvv5umj1Xe1qkkh4no4_400
Finding a computer to chart is like fighting your way to the cornucopia.

 

anigif_enhanced-buzz-10113-1382948371-0
You have never heard so many machines beep at one time.

 

c926302b-f277-48c6-b985-df6cf267dbb0_catchingfire_blog_gif7
The reaction you get when you ask for help from the nurse that no one warned you about.

 

tumblr_inline_mtawpzdVuO1r2lr4p
The pep talk your preceptor gives you about caring for the 90 year old, 90 lb woman with dementia who you are just a tad afraid will hurt you, again.

 

tumblr_mvl6hr95Id1qe8xlpo5_250
The last 7 minutes of your shift, while you are waiting to clock out.

 

tumblr_mvytl0Z51r1qkqht5o2_500
The minute you finish your shift assessment your charge nurse floats you to another unit.

 

tumblr_nb4klhtchc1tj1tovo1_500
You and your buddy decide to complain to your manager about your 4 on, 1 off, 4 on night shift schedule. They won’t fire both of you…right?

 

tumblr_inline_nc4c1fAjWV1rimvgk
Haymitch is your veteran nurse friend that gives you advice and is always dragging you out for bloody Mary’s after your night shift

 

tumblr_mxwsel7MIm1sjq6ybo2_500
When the doctor belittles you in front of the patient.

 

tumblr_myyewmCQyl1sige4ho1_500
This is the key to getting nursing awards.

 

tumblr_mxt2u0sP461sspo51o1_500
Losing a patient is difficult, but you have to finish your shift.

 

tumblr_msnqme61ww1rm3hhlo2_500
This every shift that is short staffed, which seems like every shift.

 

tumblr_mzvcz8slzQ1sgbwzho1_r1_500
Getting to know the other staff is not as easy as you think.

 

tumblr_mwm9e2Hw3n1r2mskvo1_500
Learning how to prioritize patient needs and requests can be overwhelming.

 

tumblr_n4lcpa85gZ1ssbvp5o1_500
Your family and friends don’t know what you are going through, but they are your biggest supporters.

 

tumblr_n2p045dax71qcm0m3o1_500
How you feel when the charge nurse asks you take your 3rd admit of the day.

 

tumblr_n6cu1jOTgi1toklayo1_500
How you justify playing Candy Crush after you offer to help out your unit.

 

tumblr_mxmj6qyLy31t08gv4o1_500
When you find out your work spouse accepted at another hospital.

 

tumblr_nfauhjfVg21s4hjb0o1_500
Keep smiling! Your bonus is based on the patient satisfaction scores.


 

 

 

 

tumblr_mwj5b0Mx8e1qfy8apo1_500
This is you realizing you are not a brand new nurse anymore. You actually know what you are doing!  You rock!  Now its your turn to be a mentor to a new nurse.

 

 

 

 

Posted on

Nurses Lie

Nurses have been voted by the public as one of the most trusted professions year after year.

Let me share a secret with you, nurses lie. Of course all nurses are not saints. It is possible to run across a Nurse Ratched or Nurse Jackie from time to time. That is not what I mean. All GOOD nurses lie. Nurses may pride themselves on being honest and having integrity in their personal lives, but they can not stop lying at work.

Seven lies that nurses tell:jurse jackie

1. It’s just allergies.

Nurses are constantly exposed to illness. They work long hours with little time for resting, eating, drinking or potty breaks. Many nurses work the nightshift which further weakens their immune systems. The nature of their work leaves nurses vulnerable to illness. It is not possible to stay home every time a nurse is sick. Patients need cared for 24 hours a day. Bills still need to be paid. Hospitals fire nurses when they take too many sick days. All these factors create tremendous pressure to take an over-the-counter cocktail of medications and head on in to work.

2. You are dilated to 9cm.

This may be true. Maybe not. It depends if your doctor is impatient with moms while pushing. Three hours of pushing is normal for first time moms, but not all doctors will wait that long. Your nurse may be buying you time to avoid a cesarean section. She may see that you really need to rest before you start pushing. Maybe you are waiting on a family member to arrive and she is trying to buy you time. Maybe she needs to eat a snack before she passes out and she knows you want to start pushing right at 10 cm.

3. Don’t worry, it happens all the time. It’s not a problem.

Chances are it doesn’t happen all the time, but your nurse wants you to feel comfortable and not embarrassed. Even if it is a common occurrence it probably is still a problem. A patient passing gas while a nurse is inserting an urinary catheter does NOT happen all the time and it IS a problem. Nurses will lie through their teeth while they try to not inhale and also try to not break sterile technique.

drunk P
If I can’t have Dilaudid can I have my IV Phenergan? Don’t forget to push it fast!

4. You can’t have any more Dilaudid.

Chances are you technically could have more. When a patient is asking for more narcotics in between snoring sessions and they can’t tell the nurse from the IV pole, they are not getting any more Dilaudid!

5. I have time for you.

Nurses wish that statement was always true. It is often a lie. Heavy patient loads and mountains of charting take time away from the time at the bedside. In a rare moment when a nurse is caught up with his shift work he still has hospital, unit, certification and licensure education requirements to complete. Nurses will stay at the beside and make the time for you that is needed. Then they will stay late to chart and come in on their days off to complete their continuing education requirements.

 

6. I need to go check on a lab result. (or any excuse to get out of a room)

Sometimes this is nurse code for “If I don’t go to the bathroom right now I am going to have to call a code brown on my self.”

 

7. I don’t smell anything. Yes they do! They smell it. They are just being nice. If it is within the nurses power to fix the problem then they will bathe, deodorize or bandage up the offending odor. When there is nothing to be done about the smell, they will lie to preserve the dignity of their patient.

smelly

 

 

Nurses lie. Should a nurse share her battle with irritable bowel syndrome and explain how it will affect her time management of her patient care? Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Despite a history of lies, nurses deserve to be the most trusted profession.

Posted on

If Your Hospital was Divergent

“We believe in ordinary acts of bravery, in the courage that drives one person to stand up for another.”
― Veronica Roth, Divergent

If nurses are anything, they are Dauntless.  What if your hospital was Divergent?

 

 

This is your first day off orientation.
This is your first day off orientation.

 

bun
This is how you fixed your hair in nursing school.

 

abdnegation
Abnegation is the type of nurse you want to be when you start nursing.

 

Dauntless
Dauntless is the type of nurse you become after a few years.

 

Scoring the best assignment is like winning capture the flag.
Scoring the best assignment is like winning capture the flag.

 

This is how you feel when you realize your great assignment is not as great as you thought.

 

This is the point you decide to call the charge nurse for help.
This is the point you decide to call the charge nurse for help.

 

There is always at least one RN buddy that you can depend on when it counts.
There is always at least one RN buddy that you can depend on when it counts.

 

Charting gets a lot harder after 3 A.M.
Charting gets a lot harder after 3 A.M.

 

This is how you decide who gets the last kolache in the break room.
This is how you decide who gets the last kolache in the break room.

 

Sometimes patients just need a hand to hold.
Sometimes patients just need a hand to hold.

 

When your manager comes in early to talk with you.
When your manager comes in early to talk with you.

 

Thank goodness for nursing mentors.
Thank goodness for nursing mentors.

 

Don't worry.  We will go get  a drink after the staff meeting.
Don’t worry. We will go get a drink after the staff meeting.

 

Oh Crap!  This means paper work.
Oh Crap! This means paper work.

 

Overtime?  Yes, of course I will stay, if you are Four.
Overtime? Yes, of course I will stay, if you are Four.

 

This is you trying to beat the lunch crowd.
This is you trying to beat the lunch crowd.

 

Joint Commission is here.  Act right people.
Joint Commission is here. Act right people.

 

This is how you feel when you lose a patient.
This is how you feel when you lose a patient.

 

 

This is how you feel when you save a patient.
This is how you feel when you save a patient.

 

This is how you feel to go home!
This is how you feel when you get to go home!
Posted on

If Hogwarts was Nursing School

Nursing school is hard! 

It would be nice to magically memorize anatomy or conjure perfect care plans.

What if Hogwarts was your Nursing School?

sorting hat
The sorting hat would assign you into clinical groups.

Professor Snape
Snape would be your pharmacology professor.

document
Care Plans would be VERY individualized. 

robes
Wizard robes would come in pediatric cartoon styles.

McGonagall
McGonagall would be the teacher you asked to pin you in the pinning ceremony.

timeturner
Time-turners would be required for every student.

psych
Trelawney would be your Psych clinical instructor.

Hermoine
 Hermione would be the student that kept the class in lecture the day the teacher said it would be a short class.

ron
Ron would ask to study off your indexed and cross referenced notes and then lose them.

Tumblr_mkvzcsCDPL1qj622fo7_250
OWLS would be the HESI exam, but everyone knows only the Newt exams get you your license.

voldemort
You would miss out on the whole Dark Lord has returned thing, because you are always in the library’s  restricted section studying acid base balance and Kreb cycle.

graduation
Graduation would be in the Great Hall.

friends
Your nursing school friends are there with you through it all!

Posted on

What Hippies Taught Me about Birth

 

I learned a lot about labor from granola nurses and crunchy parents.  Here are my favorite lessons that I learned taking care of laboring patients whom were skipping pain medications.  It has made me a better labor nurse for all my patients.  What lessons have you learned in the world of labor and delivery?

 

Feed moms or they get cranky.

 

 

 

rose bloom
A cervix blooms like a rose.

 

 

 

 

drugs
It is okay to ask the tough questions

 

 

 

 

 

volcano
Don’t assume that all parents want vaccines, baths, disposable diapers or a pacifier, unless you want to see  crunchy mom wrath.

 

 

 

 

amniotic fluid
Babies like their amniotic fluid.  Don’t AROM their swimming pool.

 

 

 

 

hugs
Everyone needs a hug sometimes.

 

 

 

 

range
Make sure you are keeping a safe distance when its pushing time.

 

 

 

 

stay
Sometimes a mom will need you every minute.

 

 

 

 

 

hug2
Sometimes a mom only needs her partner

 

 

 

 

 

 

windy
Not all moms wear deodorant, have a fan handy.

 

 

 

 

 

red fox
It is okay to name your son Red Fox. (Or any other unconventional name)

 

 

 

 

 

cut
Wait until the umbilical cord stops pulsing to cut!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

intermittant efm
Continuous fetal monitoring is not always necessary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

chase
Always knock on the door first! I have been surprised on more than one occasion about what was going on in the room!

 

 

 

 

 

 

pulling out baby
Moms deliver babies, not doctors.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

dad gaze
Watching a  dad and mom look at each other after the baby is born always makes me cry.

 

Posted on

My 10 Crunchy Mom Fails

And Why I’m Okay With It

 

1. I didn’t save my placenta to plant with a tree, eat,
make placenta prints or to encapsulate

          lone surviver

2. I tried using aluminum free deodorant for exactly one day

sure

3. I can’t bring myself to pay more for Organic

 grapes

4. Does mashing parts of my own dinner count as making my own  baby food?

baby eats

5. I was disgusted by cloth diapers in my childhood and passed on it as a mom.

diaper

6. Never made cute art out of my belly

 belly art

7. Didn’t want to have  a Water Birth

 bath

8. Never even heard of lactation cookies until this year

 lactation cookies

9. Struggle growing an herb garden

plant

10. Never declined newborn medications

 syringe

I don’t fall neatly into a mom category. I bet you don’t either! I’m a little crunchy, a bit soccer, a lot grizzly and a full time working mama. Sometimes I feel like I am a goddess of natural birth and attachment parenting, sometimes I’m driving through McDonalds for the second time in a week. That’s why I’m okay with my crunchy mom fails.  I don’t need to try to fit in to someone else’s idea of what makes a good mom.  I am a good mom. I’m a Boho mama.

I have the freedom to parent the way that I choose!

Maybe some of the above crunchiness is right for you.  Click on the links to learn more.

 

Posted on

You want a Trial Of Labor After Cesarean (TOLAC)? INCONCEIVABLE!!!

Your OB’s response when you tell him you want a vaginal birth after cesarean section:

wpid-inconceivable

What you are thinking when he says you will die if you try a VBAC:

8a39f1b4b945b4d2dd3a872422b386e483d63f1bbb683ed9a86725aa3e68af73

What your husband is thinking when he sees you cry in the OB office:

princess-bride-mandy-patinkin-hate-to-kill-you-quote

What the nurses ask when you show up in labor before your scheduled caesarean:

whoru

How you react when they try to prep you for a c-section:

who are you

 

How you articulate your birth plan:

tumblr_lmxe5zt0Fx1qg4ayxo1_500

How you feel after listening to the TOLAC consent:

d3aa4e232ad12902c87ab5e9bcf34b8d

How your doctor acts when you haven’t delivered before 5PM

7ba87e04f69ae0ef86b6383821a7cd098f00bbfbe3f14d80dfabd534544c95c9

Your response to the 28th offer to give you an epidural:

get-attachment.aspx_

What happens when you fall off Freidman’s Curve:

pitiocin

What they tell you when you decline augmentation:

52975094

How your nurse explains when starting pitocin:

aprincessmachine38

What you tell your OB after 2 hours on Pitocin:

52974722

What your nurse does to buy you extra time:

tumblr_m3xi8mlaes1r0jeh0o1_500

 

What everyone does until you are complete:

indigo-montoya

How everyone feels when labor goes well and the baby is born healthy:

inconceivable-a-tribute-of-an-unusual-size-to-the-princess-bride--2db7d75bc5